Parcels, spare keys and favours between neighbours

Key rules

• Parcels: Taking in the odd parcel is a normal courtesy, but it should not become a regular arrangement.
• Spare keys: Offer or ask for a spare key only once you know someone well and have a clear reason.
• Reciprocity: Favours go both ways and stay small, so return them in kind.
• Older neighbours: A friendly check on an older neighbour is welcome; call 112 if you fear for their safety.

These are general customs, not rules, and they vary by building and neighbourhood, so follow the tone your own neighbours set.

The short version

Small favours are a normal part of neighbour life. Taking in a parcel, watering a plant or checking on someone for a day or two are all easy to offer and easy to ask. Keep them light, keep them mutual, and say thanks.

Parcels

Accepting a parcel for a neighbour is a common courtesy. Couriers often leave a card or ring a nearby door when you are out, so expect to be asked sometimes.

• Say yes to the occasional parcel and pass it on quickly.
• Do not use a neighbour as your regular delivery point. Ask them once, and offer something back.
• Never sign for something that looks damaged or open, and mention it to the neighbour.
• For anything valuable, choose a pickup point or a locker instead.

Spare keys

Holding a spare key is a bigger step than a parcel. It usually happens between neighbours who already know each other well.

• Hold off asking in your first weeks. Trust comes first.
• If you do ask, make it for a clear reason: a holiday, a lockout, or a plant or pet to look after.
• Label nothing with your address. Hand the key over in person.
• You can say no politely when asked.
• Ask the building's administrator what applies to shared doors or garages. Do not hand out shared keys or access codes yourself.

How much to ask and give

Favours are normally reciprocal and light. If someone helps you, return it in kind: a coffee, a bit of fruit, or doing the same for them another time.

• Ask for small things, rarely.
• Offer before you are asked, once you know people.
• Do not keep score, but do not take more than you give.

Checking on older neighbours

Many buildings have older residents who live alone. A greeting on the stairs, a knock if you have not seen them for a few days, or an offer to carry shopping is welcome and expected. If you are worried about someone, ring their bell first. If there is no answer and you fear for their safety, call the emergency number 112.

When to say no

Say no to anything that costs real time, money or risk: regular childcare, lending money, or long-term storage. A friendly, clear refusal is normal and rarely causes offence.