Friends and fitting in at schoolArticle 5 of 5 · 4 min read
Birthday invitations and playdates for a newcomer child at school
How birthday invitations, gifts and playdates usually work in Spanish primary schools: who to invite, how invitations arrive, what to give, and when parents stay. For parents of a child who has just joined a school in Spain.
Key rules
- Whole class: For young children, invite the whole class; if you invite only a few, do not hand out invitations at school.
- Reply: Confirm by WhatsApp and mention allergies, even if others reply late.
- Gift: A 10-20 euro present is typical; follow any no-gift request on the invitation.
- Staying: Parents usually stay for under-6s and drop off from about 6-7 years.
Who to invite
In infant and early primary school, the usual custom is to invite the whole class. If you invite only a few children, keep the party small and do not hand out invitations openly at school, so nobody feels left out.
Things change as children grow. From about 9-10 years, children often pick a handful of friends. Teen parties are selective. In a very large class, inviting everyone is not expected.
How invitations arrive
Most invitations come by WhatsApp, either in the class parents' group or directly to you, often as an image. Paper invitations handed out at school still happen, mostly in infant years. Some schools discourage handing them out in class.
Invitations usually come one to two weeks ahead. Reply on WhatsApp to say yes or no, and mention any allergies. Replies are often late, so if you are the host, expect to chase people. The timeline below shows the steps.
Gifts
Bring a small or mid-priced present: a toy, book, craft set or board game. A typical spend is 10-20 euros. With older children, parents often pool money for one larger gift. Some families ask for no gifts or for a contribution instead, so follow what the invitation says. Gifts are often opened at the party, so do not be surprised if your child's is opened in front of everyone.
What the party is like
Parties often take place at a parque de bolas, a hired party room, a restaurant with a play area, a park or at home. Expect a merienda, cake and a piñata.
- Under 6: parents usually stay, often with siblings.
- From about 6-7: parents commonly drop off and collect at the stated time, especially at play centres with staff.
If the invitation does not say, ask the host whether you should stay.
Playdates
Playdates are arranged parent to parent, by WhatsApp or at school pick-up. Many Spanish children meet at parks or plazas after school, with parents chatting nearby, rather than at formal home playdates. This is an easy way to start.
Closer friends visit each other's homes, usually for a merienda. Parents commonly stay with younger children, and drop-off becomes normal from about 7-8 years. Hosting is expected to alternate over time, so invite back when your child has been hosted.
Habits vary by school, city and family. If unsure, ask another parent in the class. The FAQ below covers common questions.
Timeline and deadlines
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Send the invitation, usually by WhatsApp to the class parents' group or directly to parents: One to two weeks before the party
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Reply on WhatsApp to confirm attendance and mention any allergies: As soon as you receive the invitation
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Chase parents who have not replied: Closer to the party, since replies are often late
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to invite the whole class to my child's birthday party?
No, you do not have to, but in infant and early primary school the usual norm is to invite the whole class group. A small party with a few close friends is accepted, but then do not hand out invitations openly at school.
How much should I spend on a gift for a classmate's party?
A typical gift costs roughly 10-20 euros, such as a toy, book, craft set or board game. Older children often pool money in a group gift. If the invitation asks for no gifts or a contribution, follow that.
Do I stay at the party with my child?
Yes, parents usually stay with children under 6, often with siblings too. From about 6-7 years, parents commonly drop off and collect at a stated time, especially at play centres with staff. Check the pickup time in the invitation.
How do I arrange a playdate with a classmate?
Message the other parent on WhatsApp or ask at school pickup. Many children meet at a park or plaza after school with parents chatting nearby, and home visits come with closer friends, usually with a merienda (afternoon snack).
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