Greetings, small talk and politeness
You will greet, address and chat with people in Spain without sounding stiff, rude or lost.
Greeting people, choosing between tú and usted, chatting and reading Spanish directness all shape the first minutes of any exchange in Spain. This topic covers how to do each of them, and the rules differ from many other countries.
Pick the article that fits your situation
Greeting people in Spain, including the two-kiss greeting (dos besos)
How to say hello and goodbye in Spain: which phrase to use at which time of day, when to greet in shops and waiting rooms, when to kiss twice or shake hands, and which farewell fits. For anyone new to Spain.
Introducing yourself and making small talk in Spanish
How to say who you are, where you come from and why you moved, using the questions Spaniards really ask, and how to keep a casual chat going and end it politely. For newcomers who speak a little Spanish.
Why Spaniards sound direct and how polite you need to be
Spaniards often sound blunt to newcomers, but it is normally friendly and a sign of trust. This page shows you how to read that style and which small politeness habits to use in bars, shops, disagreements and everyday encounters.
Terms of address and endearment in Spain (señor, don, guapa, cariño)
Explains how to read everyday Spanish terms of address and endearment, such as señor, don and doña, guapa and cariño. For newcomers who want to tell friendly habit from real disrespect, and to reply without awkwardness.
Rounds of drinks, invitations and splitting the bill in Spanish
The phrases and habits for social drinks and meals in Spain: buying rounds, offering to pay, splitting the bill, and telling a real plan from polite talk. For newcomers going out with friends or colleagues.
Gendered Spanish and inclusive forms in everyday speech
Spanish marks gender on nouns, articles and adjectives, and inclusive forms like elle are not standard. This page helps newcomers read and use gendered Spanish, know what to expect from inclusive forms, and choose neutral wording that works almost anywhere.
About this topic
It is for anyone thinking about, planning or carrying out a move to Spain. After reading it, you can greet, address and chat with people without sounding stiff, rude or lost.
Start with "Greeting people in Spain, including the two-kiss greeting (dos besos)". It shows you how to say hello and goodbye by time of day, setting and relationship, which is the base for everything else here.
Then read "Introducing yourself and making small talk in Spanish" to say who you are and why you moved. After that, "Why Spaniards sound direct and how polite you need to be" explains how to read the conversational style. The remaining pages cover terms of address and endearment, rounds of drinks and splitting the bill, and gendered and inclusive Spanish.
Key rules
- Buenos días to tardes: Say buenos días until lunch and switch to buenas tardes after lunch, from about 2pm.
- Afternoon switch: Buenos días lasts until lunch, so it is still right at 1pm.
- Entering small places: Greet when you enter small shops, waiting rooms and bars, and say goodbye when you leave.
- Tone: Answer warmly and briefly, with one specific detail, and keep complaints for close friends.
- Invitations: "A ver si quedamos" is usually politeness, so name a day if you mean it.
- Greeting: Say hello when you enter a shop, bar, lift or waiting room, and thank people when you leave.
Greetings, small talk and politeness: questions that cross several articles
Do I need to greet people when I walk into a small shop or waiting room?
Yes, in small shops and waiting rooms you are expected to say a short buenos días, buenas tardes or just buenas when you walk in. Bars and lifts are a little more relaxed, and big supermarkets need no greeting. Say adiós or gracias, adiós on leaving, and read Greeting people in Spain, including the two-kiss greeting (dos besos).
How do you order politely in a Spanish bar or shop?
Greet first, then ask with a phrase like '¿Me pones un café con leche?' or 'Quería un kilo de naranjas', and finish with por favor or gracias. A direct 'ponme' is not rude when your tone is friendly. In a busy shop, ask '¿Quién es el último?' to find your turn.
What happens if you accept a drink in a group and then want to leave?
Once you accept a drink you are part of the round, so stay to buy yours when your turn comes. Leaving without buying your round is seen as rude. If you prefer not to join, say 'yo voy por libre' at the start. Rounds of drinks, invitations and splitting the bill in Spanish covers this in full.
How do you respond when someone says invito yo?
Invito yo means it is on them, so thank them and promise the next one with 'Gracias, la próxima invito yo'. A polite refusal once or twice is normal, but accept after the second time. Pay back on another occasion, and see Rounds of drinks, invitations and splitting the bill in Spanish.
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