Feeling lonely in your first months in Spain

Terms used

• Intercambio — An intercambio is a language exchange where two people practise each other's language, often at a bar night or one-to-one.
• AMPA — The AMPA is a school's parents' association, which organises activities and gives parents a way to meet.
• Caña — A caña is a small draught beer, a common after-work drink.
• Vermut — Vermut is an aperitif drink, and the weekend ritual of going out for one before lunch.

Key rules

• Normal: Early loneliness is common because you have no network yet, social timing is different and local circles open slowly.
• Repeat contact: Activities that meet weekly with the same people build friendships better than one-off events.
• Timing: Dinner is usually 9pm to 10pm, so plan your social life around evenings and weekend afternoons.
• Small towns: Choice is thinner outside big cities, so use town hall courses, local clubs and volunteering.

Loneliness early on is normal

If you feel lonely in your first months, nothing is wrong with you. Most newcomers to Spain go through it. Three things cause it: you arrive with no network, social timing is different, and local circles open slowly.

Why it hits

No network. At home, friends and colleagues came built in. Here you start from zero. It is harder if you work remotely, have no colleagues, or moved without a partner or family nearby.

Slow-opening circles. Much of local social life runs around family and friends from school days. These groups are not unfriendly, but they are full, and they open slowly to outsiders. Limited Spanish makes it slower. Many expats also leave after a year or two, so the friends you do make may move on.

Different timing. Spain runs later than most of Europe. Lunch, the main meal, is usually 2pm to 3:30pm. Dinner is usually 9pm to 10pm, earlier in winter or with children. Work often ends between 6pm and 8pm. If you wait until after work to look for company, the evening is already short. Outside big cities, many shops close for a midday break.

What works: repeat contact

Friendships grow from seeing the same people again and again in the same place. A one-off event rarely does that. A group that meets every week usually does. Pick one or two things and keep going for a couple of months.

Good options:

• Language classes and an intercambio (a language exchange where you practise each other's language).
• Sports clubs and classes: padel, running clubs, football, climbing, yoga, dance.
• Hiking groups.
• Choirs and music groups.
• Art and craft workshops.
• Volunteering: NGOs, animal shelters, food banks.
• Church or community groups.
• Coworking spaces, if you work remotely.
• If you have children, school activities and the AMPA (the school's parents' association).

Fit your timing to Spanish life

• Go for a caña (a small beer) after work.
• On weekends, go for vermut (an aperitif) around 1pm to 2pm.
• Join evening classes.
• If someone invites you to dinner, expect 9pm or later.
• Sunday lunch is often a family event, so weekend afternoons and Saturday nights are better for meeting people.
• In summer, life shifts later and outdoors.

Times vary by region, season and city size.

Where to find groups

Online, look at Meetup, expat groups for your city or region, WhatsApp and Telegram groups, and language exchange apps. In person, try intercambio nights in bars, sports clubs and gyms, language schools, cultural centres, coworking spaces and courses run by your town hall.

Choice is widest in Madrid, Barcelona, Valencia, Málaga, Alicante and the Balearic and Canary islands. In small towns it is thinner. There, lean on the town hall's courses, local sports clubs and volunteering. Check which groups are active near you, because they change.

Be patient

Expect the first months to be the hardest. Showing up regularly, even when you do not feel like it, is what turns faces into friends. The questions below cover dinner times, small towns, children and intercambios.

Frequently asked questions

What time do people in Spain actually meet for dinner?

Dinner is usually at 9pm to 10pm, and earlier in winter or with children. If someone invites you for dinner, expect to arrive at 9pm or later. Work often ends at 6pm to 8pm, so evenings are when social life happens.

When is the best time to meet people at weekends?

Weekend lunchtime is the easiest moment: many people go for a vermut (an aperitif) at around 1pm to 2pm. Weekend nights out start late, and Sunday lunch is often a family event, so do not expect many open invitations then.

Can I find recurring groups if I live in a small town?

Yes, but you will have fewer choices than in a big city, so look at in-person options first. Sports clubs, municipal courses, language schools and cultural centres meet on a fixed schedule. Online groups are strongest in Madrid, Barcelona, Valencia, Málaga, Alicante and the Balearic and Canary islands.

Does having children help me meet people?

Yes, children's school activities and the AMPA (the school parents' association) bring you into weekly contact with the same families. This repeated contact in a shared setting is what builds friendships.

What is an intercambio and how do I find one?

An intercambio is a language exchange where you practise Spanish with a local who wants to practise your language. Many are held as evening nights in bars. You can also find them through language schools, coworking spaces and Meetup groups or language-exchange apps.