Making health and care decisions for a relative you cannot visit

Terms used

• Representante — A representante is the person your parent names in an advance directive to speak for them on care if they cannot.
• Informe médico — An informe médico is a written medical report from a doctor summarising a diagnosis and treatment.
• Servicios sociales — Servicios sociales are the municipal social services, which assess care needs and arrange help such as home help.
• Trabajador social — A trabajador social is a social worker at a hospital or health centre who coordinates discharge and care.
• Atención al paciente — Atención al paciente is the patient service office that handles questions and complaints at a health centre or hospital.

Key rules

• Consent: Your parent's consent, on file at the health centre or care home, decides what you can be told.
• Timing: Set up authorisation while your parent can still agree, not during a crisis.
• One contact: Name one family contact for doctors and the care home.
• Siblings: Agree roles and cost sharing in writing, and review them every few months.

Your role is limited by your parent's consent

If your parent can make their own decisions, they decide. Doctors and care homes in Spain give medical information to the patient first. They share it with you only if your parent allows it. Your job is to support, coordinate and ask good questions. It is not to decide for them.

Health data is specially protected. Without your parent's permission, a doctor may refuse to tell you anything, even if you are the child paying the bills.

If your parent cannot make decisions for themselves, the rules change. Then clinicians can talk to family members or people close to the patient. Planning for that situation is covered on the ageing care pages.

Get the authorisation in place first

Do this before a crisis, while your parent can still agree.

• Health centre or hospital: your parent names you in writing as a person allowed to receive information, or signs a consent form. It is filed in their record.
• Care home: your parent's consent is recorded in the care contract or resident file, with you named as a contact.
• Advance directive: your parent can name a representative (representante) to speak for them if they later cannot. The documents block below lists what to prepare.

Practice varies between regions and centres. Ask each centre what form it wants and how it files it.

Talk to doctors and care homes

Public health staff have little time for calls, and nothing works until the consent is on file. These habits help:

• Name one family contact, so the centre hears from one person.
• Agree a scheduled call or video appointment with the doctor, nurse or care-home social worker.
• Send your questions in advance.
• Ask for written summaries, such as the informe médico and the medication list.
• Use email or the patient portal if the centre offers it.
• Ask a local relative, or your parent, to put you on speaker during appointments.
• Ask whether the hospital has interpreters, bilingual staff or an international patient service.
• Keep notes of every contact.

Use local helpers

You need people on the ground. Involve them only with your parent's consent.

• Servicios sociales (municipal social services): the social worker assesses needs. They can start the dependency assessment and arrange home help or telecare.
• Trabajador social at the hospital or health centre: coordinates discharge and care.
• Atención al paciente (patient service office): takes complaints.
• Private help: geriatric care managers, gestorías and lawyers can act on an authorisation.
• Other support: NGOs, expatriate associations and consulates.

Services and waiting times vary by region and municipality. Call or book an appointment, and ask the local office what it needs.

Agree roles with your siblings

Hold a family meeting, in person or by video. List what your parent needs and what each person does best.

• Split tasks by location. The sibling abroad takes what works remotely: paperwork, money and bills, calls with doctors, research and booking services. A nearby sibling covers visits and hands-on care.
• Agree costs in writing. Options are equal shares, shares in proportion to income, or the distant sibling paying more to make up for time.
• Keep one record. Use a shared document or chat group for expenses, receipts and updates.
• Review regularly. Revisit the plan every few months and after any change.
• If you cannot agree, consider a neutral mediator.

In Spain there is a legal duty of support between relatives. If money is a sticking point, ask a lawyer what it means for your family.

The questions below answer common cases, including what to do when the family disagrees.

Documents you need

• A written authorisation or consent form from your parent, filed at the health centre or hospital, naming you as allowed to receive medical information. Your parent must be able to decide for themselves when they sign it.

• For a care home, your parent's consent recorded in the care contract or resident file, naming you as a contact for information.

• An advance directive naming a representative (representante), if your parent wants someone to speak for them on care decisions later.

Frequently asked questions

Can a doctor in Spain share my parent's medical information with me?

Yes, but only if your parent has allowed it, or if your parent cannot decide for themselves and you are family. A parent with full capacity can name you in writing at the health centre or hospital, or sign a consent form. Care homes work the same way, with consent recorded in the contract or file.

Who can help my parent locally if I cannot visit?

The social worker at your parent's town hall (servicios sociales) is the first person to contact. They can assess needs, start the dependency assessment and arrange home help or telecare. The hospital or health-centre social worker coordinates discharge, and the patient-service office handles complaints. Private care managers, gestorías and lawyers can also act with your parent's consent.

How should siblings split the cost of caring for a parent?

Agree the split in writing, because there is no single right way. Common choices are equal shares, shares in proportion to income, or the sibling abroad paying more to make up for the time a nearby sibling gives. Keep a shared record of expenses and receipts, and review the plan every few months.

What can I do if my family cannot agree on care?

Ask a neutral mediator to help. Before that, hold a family meeting by video to list your parent's needs and each person's strengths. Give the sibling abroad tasks that work remotely, such as paperwork, bills and calls with doctors.