Keeping your relationship alive without family help nearby

Key rules

• Start small: One evening out a month plus short daily habits is enough to keep your relationship connected.
• Regular sitters: A sitter you hire regularly should be registered for social security as a household employee.
• Free options: A babysitting swap with other parents and home dates after bedtime cost nothing.
• Meet first: Meet any new sitter with your children present before the first night out.

Couple time is possible without family

You do not need a grandparent on the doorstep. Most couples without family nearby mix three things: a paid sitter now and then, a swap with other parents, and free time at home. Start small. One evening a month plus a few short habits is enough to keep you connected.

Paid childcare: what it costs

Typical babysitter rates in Spain in 2025 were 8 to 12 euros per hour. Expect roughly 6 to 8 euros in smaller towns and 10 to 15 euros in Madrid, Barcelona and tourist areas. You will pay more for several children, late evenings, English-speaking sitters or qualified ones. Rates vary by city and season, so compare a few current local ads.

A three-hour dinner out therefore costs around 30 to 45 euros in sitter fees in most places. If you hire the same sitter regularly, they should be registered for social security as a household employee. Ask your local social security office how to do it before you start a regular arrangement.

Find a sitter when you know nobody

• Ask in parent groups and at your children's school. International school networks are a good source of trusted sitters.
• Ask other parents who they use, and ask for a reference you can speak to.
• Meet the sitter first, with your children there, before the first night out.
• Do a short first outing, such as a coffee nearby, so everyone gets used to it.

Free and cheap options

• Babysitting swap. Agree with another expat or local family to take turns watching each other's children. It costs nothing and builds your local network.
• Home dates. Once the children are asleep, cook something special, play a game or watch a film. Put phones away.
• Outdoors. Walks or picnics in parks and on beaches cost almost nothing.
• Free local events. Town halls run free events and fiestas, and libraries and cultural centres offer activities.
• School-hours dates. While the children are at school, have a cheap tapas lunch or a menú del día, the fixed-price weekday lunch most restaurants offer.
• Something shared. A language exchange, sports class or hobby gives you time together and helps you settle in.

Protect intimacy when you are tired and stretched

Moving abroad adds stress, and stress can quietly erode closeness. These habits cost nothing:

• Talk for 10 minutes every day without phones.
• Keep up physical affection, even when it is just a hug or holding hands.
• Hold a weekly check-in about how you are each doing and what needs to change.
• Share small rituals, such as a Friday coffee or a Sunday walk.
• Talk openly about sex and stress. Saying what is going on helps more than hoping it passes.

The questions below cover rates, registration and finding a sitter in more detail.

Frequently asked questions

How much does a babysitter cost per hour in Spain?

A babysitter in Spain typically costs 8 to 12 euros per hour. In smaller towns expect roughly 6 to 8 euros, and in Madrid, Barcelona and tourist areas 10 to 15 euros. Rates are higher for several children, evenings, English-speaking or qualified sitters.

Do I need to register a babysitter I hire regularly?

Yes, a sitter you hire regularly should be registered for social security as a household employee. A one-off evening is different from a weekly arrangement, so register as soon as it becomes regular.

How can we find a trusted sitter when we know nobody yet?

Parent groups and international school networks are the best places to find trusted sitters through other parents' recommendations. You can also set up a babysitting swap with other expat or local parents, which costs nothing.

What can we do for couple time that costs almost nothing?

Home dates after the children sleep cost nothing, and so do walks or picnics in parks and beaches. You can also go to free town events and fiestas, or have a cheap menú del día lunch (a fixed-price set lunch) while the children are at school.