Normal adjustment or a sign your child needs help?

Terms used

• Pediatra — The pediatra is the children's doctor at your public health centre, assigned to children up to age 14.
• Centro de salud — The centro de salud is your local public primary care health centre.
• Orientador — The orientador is the school's guidance counsellor, who assesses a child's needs and coordinates with health services.
• Empadronamiento — Empadronamiento is registration of your address with your town hall, needed to access public health care.
• Tarjeta sanitaria — The tarjeta sanitaria is the health card that gives you access to public health care in your region.
• Cita — A cita is an appointment, booked by phone, app or at the centre.

Key rules

• Settling time: Most children settle emotionally within 3 to 6 months, and feeling fully at home often takes 6 to 12 months.
• Tutor first: Talk to the tutor after 2 to 3 weeks of persistent difficulty.
• Pediatra: See the pediatra if there is no improvement by about 6 to 8 weeks, or sooner if things are getting worse.
• Urgent help: Any talk of self-harm, hopelessness or suicide needs help the same day: call 112 in an emergency.

What is normal, and what is not

Ups and downs are normal after a move. Most children settle emotionally within 3 to 6 months, and a full sense of belonging often takes 6 to 12 months. A bad week does not mean something is wrong. Distress that is not easing, or is getting worse, does.

Normal reactions by age

• Toddlers: clinginess, restless sleep, toilet accidents, tantrums and changes in appetite. These usually pass within some weeks.
• Primary-age children: sadness, irritability, stomach aches or headaches, reluctance to go to school, worry, and struggles with the new language.
• Preteens: anger, moodiness, withdrawal, long hours on screens to reach old friends, losing interest in activities, and more conflict with you.

Red flags

Take these seriously, whatever your child's age:

• Distress that is not easing, or is worsening, after 6 to 8 weeks.
• Low mood, irritability or loss of interest in play that lasts more than about 2 weeks.
• Frequent school refusal, or panic when you separate, on most days.
• Repeated physical complaints with no medical cause.
• Major changes in sleep or appetite, or regression such as bedwetting or clinginess that persists.
• Withdrawing from others, having no friendships after several months, or being bullied.
• Aggression or self-destructive behaviour.
• Grades falling by more than the language barrier explains.

When to act

Raise your concern with your child's tutor (the class teacher) after 2 to 3 weeks of persistent difficulty. Book the pediatra if there is no improvement by about 6 to 8 weeks, or sooner if things are getting worse. The timeline below shows the steps in order.

Urgent: act the same day

Any talk of self-harm, hopelessness or suicide needs urgent help the same day. In an emergency, call 112. The 024 helpline for suicidal behaviour is also available.

Where to go first

Health route. Start with your child's pediatra at the centro de salud. Children up to age 14 are assigned one once they are registered with the regional health service. That needs empadronamiento and a tarjeta sanitaria. Ask for a cita by phone, through the app or at the centre. The pediatra assesses your child. If needed, they can refer your child to child and adolescent mental health services, and sometimes to a psychologist. Teenagers aged 14 and over may be seen by a family doctor in some regions.

School route. The tutor and the orientador are your first contacts at school. They can assess your child's needs, support language and integration, and work with health services.

Waiting times for a mental health referral vary widely by region. Ask the pediatra how long it is likely to take in your area.

Finding a private specialist is covered on another page. The quick answers below deal with regression, sleep, anger and making friends.

Timeline and deadlines

When to act as your child settles in

• Expect a normal settling period of ups and downs: Roughly the first 4 to 8 weeks, and up to a full term (about 3 months) for language and friendships

• Ask the pediatra or the school's orientador (school counsellor) about a child psychologist if low mood, severe anxiety, long school refusal, major sleep or eating problems or aggression last: When these signs last beyond about 3 to 6 months, or sooner if they worsen

• Get urgent help for any talk of self-harm, hopelessness or suicide: The same day: call 112 in an emergency, or the 024 helpline for suicidal behaviour

Quick answers about children settling in Spain

Is regression like bedwetting or baby talk normal after a move?

Yes, bedwetting, baby talk, clinginess and thumb-sucking are common after a move, especially for children aged about 3 to 8. They usually fade within a few weeks to 2 or 3 months with calm reassurance and no punishment. See the pediatra at your centro de salud if it lasts beyond about 3 months or gets worse.

How can I keep my young child's sleep on track when Spanish evenings run late?

Keep a fixed bedtime, commonly around 20:00 to 21:00, even if neighbours dine late. Give an early light dinner or a snack before going out, and take a portable bed or pram for late outings. A later bedtime on special nights is fine; go back to the routine the next day.

Why is my child angry at me about the move?

Your child is probably angry because the move was not their choice and they lost friends, familiar places and the language they spoke easily. Anger is often grief or fear in disguise. Listen without arguing, give choices such as decorating their room, and set limits on behaviour, not feelings. If anger turns to aggression or lasts for months, ask the pediatra or a child psychologist for help.

How long does it take my child to make friends at a Spanish school?

Most children make first friendly contacts within a few weeks and one or two real friends within about 2 to 4 months. Children under 8 usually move faster, while teenagers often need 6 months or more. Activities after school and birthday invitations help.