What is normal at each age when a child moves to Spain

Terms used

• Educación Infantil — Educación Infantil is voluntary early schooling for ages 0 to 6, in two cycles (0 to 3 and 3 to 6).
• Educación Primaria — Educación Primaria is compulsory primary school, six years from age 6 to 12.
• ESO — ESO, Educación Secundaria Obligatoria, is compulsory secondary school, four years from age 12 to 16.
• Bachillerato — Bachillerato is the voluntary two-year school stage for ages 16 to 18, which leads to university.
• Formación Profesional — Formación Profesional is voluntary vocational training, an alternative to Bachillerato after ESO.
• Pediatra — The pediatra is the children's doctor, your first stop for worries about a child's health or mood.
• Orientador — The orientador is the school counsellor who supports pupils' wellbeing and learning.

Key rules

• Settling: Expect a mood dip in the first weeks after the novelty fades; it does not mean the move has failed.
• Friends: One or two real friends usually take 2 to 4 months, and teenagers often need 6 months or more.
• Compulsory school: School is compulsory from age 6 to 16; Infantil before 6 and Bachillerato after 16 are voluntary.
• When to get help: If a reaction lasts beyond about three to six months or gets worse, see the pediatra and talk to the school's orientador.

The short version

Most children settle emotionally within 3 to 6 months of the move, and a full sense of belonging often takes 6 to 12 months. Teenagers, children who moved against their wishes and children who have had several moves can take 12 months or longer. Every child is different. Temperament, age and the language gap all matter.

Expect a dip. Mood often drops around weeks 4 to 12, once the novelty fades. That is a normal part of the curve, not a sign the move failed.

Toddlers (up to about age 3)

Toddlers react through their bodies and routines. Normal reactions, for some weeks:

• Clinginess
• Disturbed sleep
• Toilet accidents
• Tantrums
• Changes in appetite

Keep routines, bedtimes and comfort objects the same as before. Nursery (Educación Infantil, first cycle, ages 0 to 3) is voluntary, so you choose when to start.

Ages 3 to 6

The second cycle of Educación Infantil (ages 3 to 6) is also voluntary. It is free in publicly funded schools. Young children (under 8) usually make friends fastest, because play needs little language. Reactions are similar to toddlers' and usually ease within weeks.

Primary-age children (6 to 12)

Educación Primaria runs six years, from age 6 to 12, and school is compulsory from 6. Normal reactions, which often settle within a few months:

• Sadness or irritability
• Stomach aches or headaches
• Reluctance to go to school
• Worry or withdrawal
• Struggling with a new language

Most children make first friendly contacts within a few weeks. One or two real friends usually take about 2 to 4 months. Spanish children often play in parks and plazas after school. Going along, accepting birthday invitations and joining after-school activities all help. Arriving at the start of the school year is easier than arriving mid-year.

Preteens (about 11 to 14)

Preteens usually start Educación Secundaria Obligatoria (ESO), which covers ages 12 to 16 in four years. Schooling is compulsory until 16. This age group has the hardest road. Normal reactions include:

• Anger and moodiness
• Withdrawal
• Heavy screen use to stay in touch with old friends
• Losing interest in activities
• More conflict with you

Real friendships often take 6 months or more. Give them room to keep old friendships, and gently push for one activity with local children, such as a sport or a club.

After ESO, Bachillerato (two years, ages 16 to 18) and vocational training (Formación Profesional) are voluntary.

When it is more than normal adjustment

Worry when a reaction lasts beyond about three to six months, or gets worse instead of better. Signs include:

• Persistent low mood
• Loss of interest in everything
• Refusing school for long periods
• Severe anxiety or panic
• Talk of self-harm
• Major sleep or eating problems
• Aggression

Talk to your child's pediatra or a child psychologist. Also talk to the school's orientador (counsellor). If you ever hear talk of self-harm, get help straight away.

The timeline below shows what to check across the first twelve months, and the questions below cover school stages and friendships.

What to expect in your child's first twelve months

Your child's first twelve months

• Arrival and first days at school: Weeks 1 to 3, usually in September for a school-year start (earliest on planned arrival; latest 21 days after planned arrival)

• Talk to the tutor if difficulty keeps going: After 2 to 3 weeks of persistent difficulty (earliest 14 days after planned arrival; latest 21 days after planned arrival)

• Go to the first reunión de padres (parents' meeting): September or October

• Review progress and expect a mood dip as the novelty fades: Mid-October to November, about 6 to 8 weeks in. Dips often appear around weeks 4 to 12 (earliest 28 days after planned arrival; latest 84 days after planned arrival)

• See the pediatra if there is no improvement or things get worse: By about 6 to 8 weeks (earliest 42 days after planned arrival; latest 56 days after planned arrival)

• Read the first boletín de notas (report) and ask the tutor about language and friendships: End of the first trimester, before Christmas. Language and friendships can take up to a full term of about 3 months

• Check how your child came back after the Christmas break: January, after the holidays that run from about 22 or 23 December to 6 or 7 January

• Look at the second-term report: Around March, before Semana Santa (Easter), which lasts about one week to ten days

• Read the final evaluation and plan the summer: Late June. Summer break lasts about 11 to 12 weeks, and many schools offer summer camps and extended care

• Expect a full sense of belonging: 6 to 12 months after the move. Teenagers, children who did not want to move and children who have moved several times can take 12 months or longer

Frequently asked questions

Does my child have to go to school in Spain at every age?

No, school is compulsory only from age 6 to 16, which is ten years. Educación Infantil (ages 0 to 6) is voluntary, though the 3 to 6 cycle is free in publicly funded schools. Primaria runs from 6 to 12 and ESO, the compulsory secondary stage, from 12 to 16.

How long does it take a child to make friends at a Spanish school?

Most children make first friendly contacts within a few weeks and one or two real friends within about 2 to 4 months. Children under 8 are usually faster because play needs little language, while teenagers often need 6 months or more.

Is it normal for my preteen to spend hours on screens with old friends?

Yes, heavy screen use to stay in touch with old friends is a normal early reaction for preteens, along with moodiness, anger and withdrawal. Encourage some local activities too, so new friendships have room to start.